End of Week 2

Thursday is here! Today was my second weigh in. This week I didnt do as well as I wanted to. I only lost 1.2 lbs. I am at 319.0 even this morning but when I went to the Dr today, he weighed me at 318.8. Pretty close huh? heehee

While I was there he said that my blood pressure went from 162/96 (the first time I went) and today it was 130/90. He said my top number is great but my bottom is still a little high. He asked if I have been taking my meds and I said no... I ALWAYS FORGET. They are sitting next to my tooth brush so there is really no reason I shouldnt take them accept the fact that I think its a mental thing cause Im not a pill person. He asked how long its been since I took them. I was honest "well, about 4 weeks now". I got "a look", but then he looked at the numbers again and decided that my blood pressure is coming down with my weight loss determination and dedication. He told me NOT TO TAKE THE MEDS ANYMORE!!! I was very happy about that. His excitement about the 12 lb loss since I last saw him made me excited. :-) LOVE MY DOCTOR! He said that I lost an inch in my waist (my waist is the only thing he measures). That was all in the last 2 weeks of my efforts. 1" doesnt seem like much but he was VERY happy about it.

This was another trying few days. I still regularly see my mother dying in my head. I have decided that I can classify it as a "haunting"... in my mind of course. When I close my eyes, I see her. When I drive, I see her. When I hear certain songs, I see her. I see her in everything I do and I pray that eventually that memory will fade and let my better memories take over. At this point I feel more anger towards her and I hate being mad at my dead mother but I dont know how to stop. Im wondering if its getting close to counseling time.